Absolutely Fabulous Movie Review

entertainment

Remember the good old days when you could party hardy? I'm talking drinking Fruity Lexia, smoking ciggie-butts, dancing on the tables to Melissa Tkautz until 3am and then following it all up with a good old McDonald's binge? Those were the good old days.

Fast-forward to today and I can't even stay awake past 8pm let alone even consider eating McDonald's - the party is well and truly over for me, my friends. And it's this sentiment that encapsulates my feelings towards the entire Absolutely Fabulous movie – both the champagne and movie was flat; our favourite characters didn't seem funny anymore, new characters weren't likeable and no amount of cameos (and there were many) could save it. Maybe the passage of time simply hasn't been kind - after all, it has been twenty five years. Were my expectations too high? Maybe I've changed? Maybe they have? Or maybe they haven't and therein lies the problem?

In theory the story-line sounds promising; with Eddie and Patsy Stone (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley) still oozing glitz and glamour they continue to live the life they are accustomed to; shopping, drinking and clubbing their way around London's trendiest hotspots. Time has moved on yet they are still living the high-life and their heyday. But in an effort to enlist the immortally cool Kate Moss as Eddy's latest PR client, they accidentally push Moss into the river Thames in front of every A-Lister and who's who at an uber fashionable Zoolander'esque launch party. The worst kind of attention ensues with Eddy and Patsy becoming entangled in a media storm surrounding the supermodels untimely demise and are relentlessly pursued by the paparazzi. Hated by the world and penniless, the only answer of course is to find rich husbands and live the high-life in the glamorous playground of the super-rich and mega-dodgy, the French Riviera. Taking Eddie's granddaughter Lola with them and with long-suffering and serious daughter Saffy in close pursuit, they hatch a plan to make their escape permanent and live the high life forever more. Sounds like fun, right? One would think so. So what happened?

In actuality, nothing much has changed for the dynamic duo except age - less the self-awareness or personal growth one would expect would come with the territory. But this needn't have been a problem - don't we want to revisit the same old Eddie and Patsy with all their narcissism, irresponsibility and hilarious self-absorbed ridiculousness? After all, that's exactly why we loved them, warts and all. We wanted to catch up with the same women - crazy best-friends, our old friends, transported into today's new world.

This movie could have been the bomb, yet unlike a fine wine, sadly Absolutely Fabulous just hasn't gotten better with age. Whatever magic it was they had, they just don't have 'it' anymore. Written by Saunders, the movie hasn't made the transition from TV to the big screen; the jokes were malaligned from virtually every actor which can be excused by the likes of Emma Bunton and Kate Moss (God bless), but what to say of cringe-worthy appearance from Glee's Chris Colfer and Rebel Wilson and such greats as Barry Humphries and Dawn French. I mean hello, I love Chris Colfer!?!

So is the party finally over? It's an absolute shame but, at least for me, I'd say it's time to call it a day. Curling up on the couch on a Saturday night and drinking ginger tea in a onsie has never felt so good...

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Time for a tyre check
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Bob Jane T-Mart Tread Safely Week

Tread Safely week launches 5th to the 11th of September each year and just like a breast check for Pink Ribbon Day, it was created in order to remind you to check your tyres.

Given the health of your tyres is super important to ensure the safety of yourself and your precious cargo (not to mention other road users and pedestrians), the wonderful people at Bob Jane T-Mart (aka BYTM) have created a pretty nifty was to check your tyres, DIY style.

Like most women, we can safely assume you know next to nix about tyres. Thing is, you can use some handy-dandy items easily found in the bottom of your bag to check them out all by yourself.

Whether it’s your nail file, hair comb or even a good old Lady Jayne bobby pin, just look for the groove on your tyre and gently wedge it in; if the depth of your tyre is less than 2mm, it’s time to high tail it to your nearest BJTM.

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Sneak peak of 2017 Pirelli Calendar

When you’re talking about the ultimate in celebrity endorsement, you can’t go past the famous Pirelli Calendar.

Tyres have never looked so good with the soon to be released 2017 calendar snapped by world renowned photographer Peter Lindbergh on location in Berlin, London, Los Angeles, Le Touquet (North of Paris) and in New York.

Dating back to 1963, the Pirelli calendar is well known for not only showcasing the world’s most beautiful models photographed within - but for the photographers who shoot it.

This year, however, the line up is more movie star than model with snaps of A-list actresses featuring such names as our very own Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Uma Thurman, Robin Wright and Penelope Cruz Sanchez gracing the month by month pages.

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tyres

It's Time for a Tyre Check

There is only one thing more boring on the face of this planet than cricket, and that’s tyres. You can shine, style and soup them up all you like, but at the end of the day (and that day is looooong for most women), all roads lead back to Snoozeville. Women simply are not that interested in tyres. Yet we should be. And here’s why:

Sorry to be the Richie Benaud of the automotive world. However, we need to have a serious conversation. Sure we all know the tyres on our car keep us safe – yeah, yeah, we get it already. But do you?

Driving on bad tyres can result in you losing control of your vehicle, and can cause a serious accident – and we are meant to check them every fortnight! The reality of buying and maintaining the right tyres on your car can truly be the difference between life and death, and at some point, all tyres will start to lose performance in terms of their traction and braking ability. It’s time to tread carefully, sisters.

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entertainment

Review Bad Moms

At the time of writing, Bad Moms has apparently already made almost $56 million big ones at the box office and it’s my bet it will double, triple and even inspire a TV series. Yes, sisters, it’s. that. good.

Think the Hangover meets Sex and the City – Bad Moms is crass, irreverent and confronting, yet oh so relatable it will make you squirm in your seat on more than a few occasions. And just like SATC, if you’re a Mum, you’ll see yourself in at least one (if not all) of the main characters which can uncomfortable, comforting and hilarious all at the same time.

Continuing on with our SATC comparison, the main characters could be Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte (ditching Miranda, I mean, who ever liked her anyway?) but are now Mums living in the burbs. Amy, Carla and Kiki but ‘living the dream’ of the white picket fence variety, swapping their Manolo’s for Kumfs and their Cosmopolitans for long blacks, their days as Moms are tedious, long and unfulfilled.

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